Summer just wouldn't be summer

without my weekly dose of the Chenbot!


Who couldn't love that face!!!

Every single summer I endure the ridicule and scorn of my friends when I join my mother in unapologetically immersing into the world of Big Brother. I know this show is bad. I don't care. With the exception of boring season 4, it's never failed to entertain me.

However, without question, the ABSOLUTE BEST part of the show is Julie Chen. The body glitter, the inane questions, the halter tops! And the robotic delivery, MY GOD, the robotic delivery! She is unlike any other reality show host. I really just can't imagine a summer without her.

Is that a necklace or a lei?

Further proof that God doesn't exist

What the fuck is wrong with the American music industry?

My radio alarm went off this morning just as that stupid Paris Hilton song "Scabies are Blind" was starting. I think the only worse way to start one's day would be to wake up to this "song" completely hung over. You wouldn't know if you were vomitting from the night before or the noise piercing your eardrums.

This song is terrible. Her voice is breathy. The beat is lame (sleeping with half of Jamaica doesn't make you Jamaican, P.). The song is derivative and formulaic and it's still bad. The video looks like reject footage from CK fragrance commericals and is the known cause of at least 300 cases of crabs.

Yet this song is still played on the radio. And it's at number 32 in airplay this week.

I mean really: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THE AMERICAN MUSIC INDUSTRY?!

Hung Up – one of the best songs of the year and the number 1 song in the world for 4 months straight – peaked at 17 in this country (for airplay – it was #7 on the Billboard Hot 100). Sorry didn't even chart. And these songs are SPECTACULAR. Yet they weren't commercially successful in this country.

I don't get it. What I probably got was some sort of VD if I didn't turn over and turn off the radio fast enough.

While we're on the topic of things I hate

(which really seems to be the recurring theme in these parts)

I read this particular quote about religion in Under the Banner of Heaven by Jon Krakauer on the subway this morning. I plan to post more about it later because it's enriched my life immensely over the last week.

Anyway, more to the point:

One is often told that it is a very wrong thing to attack religion, because religion makes men virtuous. So I am told; I have not noticed it . . ..

You find as you look around the world that every single bit of progress in humane feeling, every improvement in the criminal law, every step toward the diminution of war, every step toward better treatment of the colored races, or every mitigation of slavery, every moral progress that there has been in the world, has been consistently opposed by the organized churches of the world . . . .

My own view of religion is that of Lucretius. I regard it as a disease born of fear and as a source of untold misery to the human race . . .."

- Bertrand Russell

I couldn't have said it better myself.

The Voice... The Hits... The Vomit!

I ought to sue Ticketmaster for harassment over this!



This is the third or fourth email about this stupid Adventures of Fifi Tour Ticketmaster has sent me. I'd rather kill myself than be in arena with this woman and 1,000 of her idiot teen and 'tween fans. I don't know who she blew to make this comeback happen, but I have to believe there's a special spot in the hottest corner of Hell carved out just for him.

I hate this hack with the blazing ferocity of million venereal diseases. The bitch can't even walk her dog without posing for a picture. To think how many camera lenses this beast must have broken over the years. And get some clothes that fit, tramp. She's not as big as she was (did she lose the weight by picking up her own water bottles instead of employing someone to hold her straw), but she's also NO size 2. Cope, deal and adjust, whore.